All In All...How I love this song. And a little over a week ago when I posted, I was feeling weak and overwhelmed and fearful. Yet, I wrote....fearing very much what others might thing or how they might respond....
ENTER MY ALL IN ALL....He knew that posting would not only help me process, but in turn, allow others to see into a world that is very hard to understand and process. And even though I had some not so positive responses, I became ok with that...knowing that God was still working in their hearts, despite their responses. I also had many positive responses, as well as encouragement.
And in this week, God is showing me in a deeper way some ways and situations where I thrive and discovering new things that bring me great joy. As part of VP3 a few years ago, I took a strengths finders assessment. One of my top strengths was empathy.....for those that don't know what this means...a friend described it this way...which is SOOO accurate. I literally "feel" (in an emotional and a physical sense) others' joys and sorrows (especially sorrow and pain). So, a tough day with patients in the ER is a tough day for me. A tough day for friends becomes a tough day for me. Praying intensely for others brings me great joy and relief.....as does private, personal reflection time. With that empathy strength also comes a great joy in partnering with others to bless. Whether it be simply donating leftovers from farmers' market, partnering with a foreign missionary on a special project, or just jumping in and learning something new and beneficial brings great joy!
Tonight, thanks to a mission partner in my life, I was able to treat a couple young ladies to froyo (frozen yogurt for those of you going HUH??) and we had a rather short, but good conversation. These two young ladies are entering their junior year and have such hearts for others and for the LORD. I've had a great privilege of getting to know them (and others) better over the past year and am looking forward to even more in the next year. Even more fun...we're going to have a Christmas movie party when the new Veggie Tales Christmas movie comes out....featuring who else? Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty as Silas the Okra!!! P.S. Don't tell the girls that we'll be having okra as our main food that night!! Just kidding!
Praise God...for the good...for the bad...because He is Still God.....All the Time!
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
CETN-CETA-CETL
I can read your mind....what? Huh? Kari-have you lost your mind in the four months since you last blogged? No....ride this out with me and I think you'll understand.
Since I last blogged, summer has come (finally) and will soon be gone (sadly). I did not serve at the Bible Camp I normally serve at this summer due to other commitments, but I have been busy both with work, gardening, and participating (mostly with baking-my sugar almond cookies, scones, and quick breads) at our local farmers' market. This new experience has been a ton of fun; I've met some great new people...and I have some orders for Christmas cookies in a couple months! It's also filled my off days with the great smells of cinnamon, almond, nutmeg, etc. and a sense of purpose. I spent one farmers' market selling with my niece and nephew to benefit Children of the Promise Ministries in Haiti...we had an incredible day and the two best quotes of the whole summer. My 7 year old niece (as I explained to her what we were doing)..."So...Aunt Kari...I get to like, be a real missionary for a day?" "Most definitely sweetheart!" And my 4 year old nephew after he got through eating some herb sour dough from another vendor "Aunt Kari...that was really, really good bread, but your cookies are betterer...and nobody's buying those baseball cookies....so can I just eat them?" "Hm...."
Gardening has taken up a wonderful amount of my time and it is so much fun seeing the fruits of my labor, as well as learning new tricks and techniques. Right now, I'm figuring out what to do with 9 1/2 pound cabbages and how to fix my tomatoes which are making the cages fall over with their weight!
I'm also experimenting with new recipes using fresh produce. Tonight's experiment was a recipe for KFC coleslaw. Success!
This summer has also brought a sense of pain and disappointment as I realized I needed to admit that my struggle with depression had returned, and as much as I tried to avoid it or push it aside, it was gaining strength and power. Although I am not sure about posting this publicly, I'm hoping it can help someone else. Once I admitted I was struggling, I was able to begin to deal with it...which leads to the title of my post.
CETN-CARING ENOUGH TO NOTICE
As I was struggling, a part of me just wanted someone else to care enough to notice. In the back of my mind, I thought, good grief...in this great community of Christ followers....doesn't someone notice? Doesn't anyone care? However, in the same breath, I realized how guilty I am of sensing that someone is struggling, but pushing it out of my mind and using the excuses of "it's not my business" or "it will just lead to a conversation/interaction that I can't handle". Fear talking or sense speaking? Pretty sure it was fear! So, I would encourage all of you who believe in the Great Physician to CETN, and then....
CETA-CARING ENOUGH TO ASK
Many times, when people are struggling, whether it's with mental illness, loss, financial struggles, frustration over work/family issues, or many other things, the first step after caring enough to notice is to ask. And not just "Are you ok?" or "How are you?" What my spirit wanted most was for someone just to come alongside me and just ask what I needed and then to move on to....
CETN-CARING ENOUGH TO LISTEN (OR...to just be quiet)
I am the first to admit...I want to jump in....I want to fix...I want everything to be ok....I don't just want to listen and be still.... However, I knew that was exactly what I wanted and needed. Someone that wasn't going to try and change/fix me or give me instructions or blame or all that garbage. I really didn't want to have to share everything with someone. Honestly, I was embarrassed (as are many people who are struggling with a variety of issues listed above). We are already blaming ourselves, questioning God, seeking our scripture. Just listen to me....let me vent...let me cry in an all out female sob/scream cry :).....let me be.......and then look me in the eyes and just be still. Your silence will often speak louder. Then, after the initial listening/silence.....it can move into more of a conversation over a period of time. Please allow Christ to speak through your silence.
Tonight I was reading a devotional on the life of Peter. And although the CETN-CETA-CETL is something I had come up with during a sleepless night, I began to see how Christ modeled that, especially with Peter. He saw his strengths and his weaknesses and cared enough to work alongside Peter to challenge and develop his strengths into a passion for Christ and Christianity.
So....I've taken a risk in posting this so honestly, but I do pray that it will ring true and bless or help someone out there. Feel free to comment....agree or disagree.....God will use that to teach my spirit as well...."as iron sharpens iron..."
Since I last blogged, summer has come (finally) and will soon be gone (sadly). I did not serve at the Bible Camp I normally serve at this summer due to other commitments, but I have been busy both with work, gardening, and participating (mostly with baking-my sugar almond cookies, scones, and quick breads) at our local farmers' market. This new experience has been a ton of fun; I've met some great new people...and I have some orders for Christmas cookies in a couple months! It's also filled my off days with the great smells of cinnamon, almond, nutmeg, etc. and a sense of purpose. I spent one farmers' market selling with my niece and nephew to benefit Children of the Promise Ministries in Haiti...we had an incredible day and the two best quotes of the whole summer. My 7 year old niece (as I explained to her what we were doing)..."So...Aunt Kari...I get to like, be a real missionary for a day?" "Most definitely sweetheart!" And my 4 year old nephew after he got through eating some herb sour dough from another vendor "Aunt Kari...that was really, really good bread, but your cookies are betterer...and nobody's buying those baseball cookies....so can I just eat them?" "Hm...."
Gardening has taken up a wonderful amount of my time and it is so much fun seeing the fruits of my labor, as well as learning new tricks and techniques. Right now, I'm figuring out what to do with 9 1/2 pound cabbages and how to fix my tomatoes which are making the cages fall over with their weight!
I'm also experimenting with new recipes using fresh produce. Tonight's experiment was a recipe for KFC coleslaw. Success!
This summer has also brought a sense of pain and disappointment as I realized I needed to admit that my struggle with depression had returned, and as much as I tried to avoid it or push it aside, it was gaining strength and power. Although I am not sure about posting this publicly, I'm hoping it can help someone else. Once I admitted I was struggling, I was able to begin to deal with it...which leads to the title of my post.
CETN-CARING ENOUGH TO NOTICE
As I was struggling, a part of me just wanted someone else to care enough to notice. In the back of my mind, I thought, good grief...in this great community of Christ followers....doesn't someone notice? Doesn't anyone care? However, in the same breath, I realized how guilty I am of sensing that someone is struggling, but pushing it out of my mind and using the excuses of "it's not my business" or "it will just lead to a conversation/interaction that I can't handle". Fear talking or sense speaking? Pretty sure it was fear! So, I would encourage all of you who believe in the Great Physician to CETN, and then....
CETA-CARING ENOUGH TO ASK
Many times, when people are struggling, whether it's with mental illness, loss, financial struggles, frustration over work/family issues, or many other things, the first step after caring enough to notice is to ask. And not just "Are you ok?" or "How are you?" What my spirit wanted most was for someone just to come alongside me and just ask what I needed and then to move on to....
CETN-CARING ENOUGH TO LISTEN (OR...to just be quiet)
I am the first to admit...I want to jump in....I want to fix...I want everything to be ok....I don't just want to listen and be still.... However, I knew that was exactly what I wanted and needed. Someone that wasn't going to try and change/fix me or give me instructions or blame or all that garbage. I really didn't want to have to share everything with someone. Honestly, I was embarrassed (as are many people who are struggling with a variety of issues listed above). We are already blaming ourselves, questioning God, seeking our scripture. Just listen to me....let me vent...let me cry in an all out female sob/scream cry :).....let me be.......and then look me in the eyes and just be still. Your silence will often speak louder. Then, after the initial listening/silence.....it can move into more of a conversation over a period of time. Please allow Christ to speak through your silence.
Tonight I was reading a devotional on the life of Peter. And although the CETN-CETA-CETL is something I had come up with during a sleepless night, I began to see how Christ modeled that, especially with Peter. He saw his strengths and his weaknesses and cared enough to work alongside Peter to challenge and develop his strengths into a passion for Christ and Christianity.
So....I've taken a risk in posting this so honestly, but I do pray that it will ring true and bless or help someone out there. Feel free to comment....agree or disagree.....God will use that to teach my spirit as well...."as iron sharpens iron..."
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