Radical Pro-Lifer

It's time.  Time for me to stop fearing this post and just go with my gut.  I have rewritten, deleted, edited, etc. this post way too many times.  So, I deleted one more time and am starting from scratch....from my heart....from my passion....from my innermost spirit.


You see, I have friends and family that lean towards the extreme right wing agenda....and I have friends and family that lean towards the extreme left wing agenda.  And, so even though what I write really isn't intended to state a political agenda, I do fear what others may think and I fear alienating or offending some.


But, this is also something that has been deeply seeded into my heart. So much so, that I think about it (even obsess...) a lot......ALOT.  I was raised to know that as a Christian, I knew that life begins at conception and that abortion is a sin. I even stood with my grandma and mom and held signs at local government agencies to help raise awareness in the fight against abortion being legalized.  I still believe life begins at conception; and I still believe abortion is wrong.  I also believe life and the importance of protecting it doesn't stop in the birth canal.


?????WHAT?????  Wait...


I have a friend....she adopted a young girl out of the foster care system.  This poor toddler experienced more trauma than most of our entire families will experience in a lifetime....in the first few years of her life.  She is a beautiful, creative, intelligent young lady with an extreme tendency towards manipulative and destructive behaviors....due to trauma that destroyed the ability for her to connect with others in a healthy way.....and who knows if there was trauma in the womb from alcohol or drugs that the birth mother or those around her may have used.


Another friends works for the department of human services......severely underpaid, overworked, and given little leeway to fight for the children assigned to her....given specific guidelines as to what she can say and do....how much she can "spend" to get her caseloads taken care of....and yet she tells me how she often can't sleep at night because she knows that some of these kids should not be allowed to ever return home to their birth parents....but "we believe in 2nd...and 3rd....and 4th....chances"


In the state of Iowa, we have expanded Medicaid coverage to hundreds of adults.  Yet there is still a waiting list hundreds of kids long waiting for waivers to receive funding for necessary care.


A recent news story told of how the standard recommendation for mental health beds is 50 for every 100,000 of population.  Iowa has 5.....and yet it becomes a massive struggle against impossibility to approve funding to send a child or adult with Medicaid funding out of state for the treatment they need.


I read inspiring stories of people who are working hard in places like Uganda and Haiti who are working hard....not just to "rescue" children by placing them in adoptive homes....but to help the families develop ways to support themselves and their children, while also educating them in how to prevent pregnancy. 


So, how do these stories come together in a short blog.....


I think we have to look beyond the traditional "pro-life" views....just like we have started to move beyond the simple answer of "rescuing" children from foreign countries through adoption.  While both of those views are good and admirable....there is more.  Protecting children while educating, working to heal families and children through comprehensive, individualized treatment plans for the entire family with freedom to "make exceptions to policy" given to social workers familiar with the situation, realizing that consistent, thorough, and regular follow-through will end up costing less in the long run, whereas constant changes and upheaval end up destroying any previously gained ground, realizing that by investing in the parents and financially into those working with them we stop the constant run-around, confusion, and miscommunication so common, and finally.....if we took as much care and compassion in fighting for pro-life beyond the birth canal....imagine the changes that potentially could happen in our entire society...worldwide.

A New Toy

Every good blog needs some pictures, right?

Well, tonight, I begin....with one.

My boss once told me she could keep me happy at work by giving me a new "toy" to figure out, experiment with, and successfully use every few years.  Well, tonight, my new "toy" was at home.

A few weeks ago, I found it...my dream machine on sale at an incredibly low, low price.  Welcome FoodSaver to my official kitchen membership.

Tonight was my first night to use.  I started by reading the manual (I've learned that's a great idea after messing up many things by not reading them in the past!)  Then I started my project for the night, cleaning out the freezer as much as possible to store as many of the 500 undecorated "Kari's Kookies" until they need decorating for Palm Sunday at church.  I did the typically food saver stuff....the chicken breasts, my individual homemade breakfast burritos, etc.  Then I looked (wished I would have taken a picture) and frowned....what was I going to do with the super large roasting pan full of the slightly overripe bananas that they sell for super cheap at the supermarket before they go bad. Perfect bananas for making banana bread, muffins, smoothies, etc.  Bring on the "new toy" experiment for the night.  I set the bananas out on the table to begin to thaw slightly.  When they were "just soft, yet slightly frozen", I peeled the bananas and packaged them 4 to a bag, vaccuum packed them and sealed them.  It worked brilliantly!!  Even after they were sealed, I could smash the bananas into a smooth, flat bag and stack them in a very small place in the freezer.  Perfectly packed for defrosting and mixing into batters of bread, and taking up a lot less space in the freezer!

Back to the cookies I was making room for.  That was actually the reason I bought the FoodSaver. I want to experiment with packing "Kari's Kookies" and keeping them in tact and fresh for possible shipping to friends and others who might request them.  I didn't get to that experiment tonight.....but am hopeful. After all, it's a new toy and I'm loving figuring out everything I can use it for!  Wish me luck!

Quinncidence of Blessings

I have two secrets to share tonight....
1.  I am addicted to couponing....bargains....etc...(ok..so not much of a secret to most of you)
2.  In mid-December I was sent an anonymous cash gift....with a note to "Please use your gifts to multiply this blessing"

I wasn't sure what that meant and so I prayed about it.  And I share this to not build myself up...but instead to hopefully encourage some of you (and to remind myself) of how, if you allow God to take your situation and mix it with your passion, He will do great things.

And, so, as I prayed about what God would have me do, he reminded me that March 12 is Quinncidence Day...where a local family celebrates their daughter Quinn's life, although it was painfully short, by encouraging others to do random acts of kindness.  I had a mission....use every bit of bargain shopping, rebates, coupons, etc. to obtain all kinds of items for Quinncidence Day.  I would post a picture, but some of the gifts I want to be completely anonymous....maybe in a few weeks I will.

And I sit here amidst notecards, candy, poptarts, stickers, yarn, gift cards, cereal,etc....I am so excited for how this unknown person is allowing God to make so many others' day!  I could have never done this on my own budget; I also could have spent the money given quickly and gotten many fun things....but this person knew that God would take my passion and inspire it for good and lots of it! Thank you my friend and may each Quinncidence that results glorify our LORD's Name!!

Doubts?????

DOUBTS...

...DOUBTS...

DOUBTS...

QUESTIONS...

...QUESTIONS...

QUESTIONS...

Use your doubts/questions to propel you forward in your faith.

Tonight with our high school group we discussed doubts.  In small group discussion, the teens anonymously shared their doubts.  What struck me is that so many of the doubts that teens face, both in their personal lives and in their spiritual lives, are the very same doubts that plague this 30-something woman.  

So, without sharing their doubts specifically, I will share a few of my doubts in a more specific way.

1-Does God REALLY have a plan for my life?  I know at 17-18 years of age, I had a plan...Bachelor's in Music, Masters in Music Therapy, Doctorate studies?  Instead, I became incapacitated by mental illness and dropped out of school in my senior year for treatment.  I returned 5 1/2 years later to finish, but put myself deep in debt in the process.  I work as a receptionist, which I love, but I can't help but wonder at times, if this is all God has for me. During some of the years in between, I have felt God calling me in other ways, but then the door is shut.  OK....but I wonder, does that mean God is telling me to be content where I am at....or seek harder for where He is leading me.  ...SEEKING HIS KINGDOM...

2-Does God love me no matter what?  I make alot of mistakes, ALOT.  I am also a people pleaser.  I want to do things right and I want to make others pleased with what I a doing. When I don't achieve those things, or I feel questioned, or like I have made a mistake, I don't like myself and I assume that others don't like me.  Honestly, and selfishly at that, I want to be perfect.  However, I realize at my core that I am not.  However, I don't want to present that to others.  Sounding familiar to anyone out there?  And so, I project my own self-dissatisfaction onto others and worry about trying to make everyone happy when that is absolutely impossible.  "She probably thinks I'm the worst friend because I forgot her birthday."  "He is going to think I am so stupid for what I said."  "I don't have near the faith that she does and everyone likes her....and on an on."  COMPARING....one of the biggest faith destroyers.  And then I struggle to believe that God could love me, when even I don't love myself.   ...LEARNING TO LOVE AS THE FATHER DOES...

It's late and these are just two of my doubts.  There are many more and usually, as I process, I simply come up with more questions, other doubts, and my mind will continue to process even as I dream tonight, I'm sure.

And, so I pray the following for anyone reading this:

Omniscient Father-I praise you for your wisdom, your love, and your compassion and forgiveness offered freely to all who believe.  I pray for each person who is doubting your presence, your plan, your will, or just you LORD.  Fill them with the peace the passes all understanding and help them know that YOU GOD, can fill them with confidence and JOY in the HOPE of your Son.  Amen.

You are my Strength when I am weak...You are my All in All

All In All...How I love this song.  And a little over a week ago when I posted, I was feeling weak and overwhelmed and fearful.  Yet, I wrote....fearing very much what others might thing or how they might respond....

ENTER MY ALL IN ALL....He knew that posting would not only help me process, but in turn, allow others to see into a world that is very hard to understand and process.  And even though I had some not so positive responses, I became ok with that...knowing that God was still working in their hearts, despite their responses.  I also had many positive responses, as well as encouragement. 

And in this week, God is showing me in a deeper way some ways and situations where I thrive and discovering new things that bring me great joy.  As part of VP3 a few years ago, I took a strengths finders assessment.  One of my top strengths was empathy.....for those that don't know what this means...a friend described it this way...which is SOOO accurate.  I literally "feel" (in an emotional and a physical sense) others' joys and sorrows (especially sorrow and pain).  So, a tough day with patients in the ER is a tough day for me.  A tough day for friends becomes a tough day for me.  Praying intensely for others brings me great joy and relief.....as does private, personal reflection time.  With that empathy strength also comes a great joy in partnering with others to bless.  Whether it be simply donating leftovers from farmers' market, partnering with a foreign missionary on a special project, or just jumping in and learning something new and beneficial brings great joy! 

Tonight, thanks to a mission partner in my life, I was able to treat a couple young ladies to froyo (frozen yogurt for those of you going HUH??) and we had a rather short, but good conversation.  These two young ladies are entering their junior year and have such hearts for others and for the LORD.  I've had a great privilege of getting to know them (and others) better over the past year and am looking forward to even more in the next year.  Even more fun...we're going to have a Christmas movie party when the new Veggie Tales Christmas movie comes out....featuring who else? Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty as Silas the Okra!!!  P.S.  Don't tell the girls that we'll be having okra as our main food that night!! Just kidding!

Praise God...for the good...for the bad...because He is Still God.....All the Time!

CETN-CETA-CETL

I can read your mind....what?  Huh?  Kari-have you lost your mind in the four months since you last blogged?  No....ride this out with me and I think you'll understand.
Since I last blogged, summer has come (finally) and will soon be gone (sadly).  I did not serve at the Bible Camp I normally serve at this summer due to other commitments, but I have been busy both with work, gardening, and participating (mostly with baking-my sugar almond cookies, scones, and quick breads) at our local farmers' market.  This new experience has been a ton of fun; I've met some great new people...and I have some orders for Christmas cookies in a couple months!  It's also filled my off days with the great smells of cinnamon, almond, nutmeg, etc. and a sense of purpose.  I spent one farmers' market selling with my niece and nephew to benefit Children of the Promise Ministries in Haiti...we had an incredible day and the two best quotes of the whole summer.  My 7 year old niece (as I explained to her what we were doing)..."So...Aunt Kari...I get to like, be a real missionary for a day?"  "Most definitely sweetheart!"  And my 4 year old nephew after he got through eating some herb sour dough from another vendor "Aunt Kari...that was really, really good bread, but your cookies are betterer...and nobody's buying those baseball cookies....so can I just eat them?"  "Hm...."

Gardening has taken up a wonderful amount of my time and it is so much fun seeing the fruits of my labor, as well as learning new tricks and techniques.  Right now, I'm figuring out what to do with 9 1/2 pound cabbages and how to fix my tomatoes which are making the cages fall over with their weight!
I'm also experimenting with new recipes using fresh produce.  Tonight's experiment was a recipe for KFC coleslaw.  Success! 

This summer has also brought a sense of pain and disappointment as I realized I needed to admit that my struggle with depression had returned, and as much as I tried to avoid it or push it aside, it was gaining strength and power.  Although I am not sure about posting this publicly, I'm hoping it can help someone else.  Once I admitted I was struggling, I was able to begin to deal with it...which leads to the title of my post.

CETN-CARING ENOUGH TO NOTICE
As I was struggling, a part of me just wanted someone else to care enough to notice.  In the back of my mind, I thought, good grief...in this great community of Christ followers....doesn't someone notice?  Doesn't anyone care?  However, in the same breath, I realized how guilty I am of sensing that someone is struggling, but pushing it out of my mind and using the excuses of "it's not my business" or "it will just lead to a conversation/interaction that I can't handle".  Fear talking or sense speaking?  Pretty sure it was fear!  So, I would encourage all of you who believe in the Great Physician to CETN, and then....

CETA-CARING ENOUGH TO ASK
Many times, when people are struggling, whether it's with mental illness, loss, financial struggles, frustration over work/family issues, or many other things, the first step after caring enough to notice is to ask.  And not just "Are you ok?"  or "How are you?" What my spirit wanted most was for someone just to come alongside me and just ask what I needed and then to move on to....

CETN-CARING ENOUGH TO LISTEN (OR...to just be quiet)
I am the first to admit...I want to jump in....I want to fix...I want everything to be ok....I don't just want to listen and be still....   However, I knew that was exactly what I wanted and needed.  Someone that wasn't going to try and change/fix me or give me instructions or blame or all that garbage.  I really didn't want to have to share everything with someone.  Honestly, I was embarrassed (as are many people who are struggling with a variety of issues listed above).  We are already blaming ourselves, questioning God, seeking our scripture.  Just listen to me....let me vent...let me cry in an all out female sob/scream cry :).....let me be.......and then look me in the eyes and just be still.  Your silence will often speak louder.  Then, after the initial listening/silence.....it can move into more of a conversation over a period of time.  Please allow Christ to speak through your silence.

Tonight I was reading a devotional on the life of Peter.  And although the CETN-CETA-CETL is something I had come up with during a sleepless night, I began to see how Christ modeled that, especially with Peter.  He saw his strengths and his weaknesses and cared enough to work alongside Peter to challenge and develop his strengths into a passion for Christ and Christianity.

So....I've taken a risk in posting this so honestly, but I do pray that it will ring true and bless or help someone out there.  Feel free to comment....agree or disagree.....God will use that to teach my spirit as well...."as iron sharpens iron..."

IOWA Weather!

I ce
O vercast
W ind
A rctic Air

W onderful SUN!
E arly Outs (from school)
A dvisories to NOT Travel
T hunder
H ail
E lectricity Outages
R ain

24 Hours Folks....we can go from 73 degrees to below freezing!  I love it....not really...but it does remind me of an incredible promise from my father.  As some of you could tell from my recent blog and some who I've messaged/talked with personally know my mind/heart have been on a roller coaster of the extreme kind the past few weeks.  And just like the weather, God promises me in His faithfulness that He is always there...even when I don't see it clearly.  Spring has always come...even in Iowa...and this season of winter recently in my life will also change into spring in its season.  As I seek to hand over the things and thoughts that burden my heart and spirit today, I rejoice in the new life of a nephew, now 5 days old; I rejoice in answered prayer; I rejoice in a Heavenly Father that never fails. 

Psalm 89:8

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁸ O Lord God of Heaven’s Armies!
Where is there anyone as mighty as you, O Lord?
You are entirely faithful.

 

And I pray that "For those who read this that may also be in a season of winter Lord, may you bring glimpses of the spring that will come.  Surround their hearts with your peace and let them see glimmers of your true unfailing faithfulness.  Thank you Father. Amen"