DOUBTS...
...DOUBTS...
DOUBTS...
QUESTIONS...
...QUESTIONS...
QUESTIONS...
Use your doubts/questions to propel you forward in your faith.
Tonight with our high school group we discussed doubts. In small group discussion, the teens anonymously shared their doubts. What struck me is that so many of the doubts that teens face, both in their personal lives and in their spiritual lives, are the very same doubts that plague this 30-something woman.
So, without sharing their doubts specifically, I will share a few of my doubts in a more specific way.
1-Does God REALLY have a plan for my life? I know at 17-18 years of age, I had a plan...Bachelor's in Music, Masters in Music Therapy, Doctorate studies? Instead, I became incapacitated by mental illness and dropped out of school in my senior year for treatment. I returned 5 1/2 years later to finish, but put myself deep in debt in the process. I work as a receptionist, which I love, but I can't help but wonder at times, if this is all God has for me. During some of the years in between, I have felt God calling me in other ways, but then the door is shut. OK....but I wonder, does that mean God is telling me to be content where I am at....or seek harder for where He is leading me. ...SEEKING HIS KINGDOM...
2-Does God love me no matter what? I make alot of mistakes, ALOT. I am also a people pleaser. I want to do things right and I want to make others pleased with what I a doing. When I don't achieve those things, or I feel questioned, or like I have made a mistake, I don't like myself and I assume that others don't like me. Honestly, and selfishly at that, I want to be perfect. However, I realize at my core that I am not. However, I don't want to present that to others. Sounding familiar to anyone out there? And so, I project my own self-dissatisfaction onto others and worry about trying to make everyone happy when that is absolutely impossible. "She probably thinks I'm the worst friend because I forgot her birthday." "He is going to think I am so stupid for what I said." "I don't have near the faith that she does and everyone likes her....and on an on." COMPARING....one of the biggest faith destroyers. And then I struggle to believe that God could love me, when even I don't love myself. ...LEARNING TO LOVE AS THE FATHER DOES...
It's late and these are just two of my doubts. There are many more and usually, as I process, I simply come up with more questions, other doubts, and my mind will continue to process even as I dream tonight, I'm sure.
And, so I pray the following for anyone reading this:
Omniscient Father-I praise you for your wisdom, your love, and your compassion and forgiveness offered freely to all who believe. I pray for each person who is doubting your presence, your plan, your will, or just you LORD. Fill them with the peace the passes all understanding and help them know that YOU GOD, can fill them with confidence and JOY in the HOPE of your Son. Amen.
