I am much too guilty of falling into a world of self-pity and loathing over certain aspects of my life. I was challenged recently by a missionary mentor/friend of mine who has served as an American Missionary for over 40 years with InFaith to start a Blessings Jar for 2013. Every day I would seek to find at least 1 blessing that touched me that day and write it down, put it in the jar, and at the end of 2013, I would go back through and read those blessings. OK.....
Well, today I thought I'd share two of those blessings I have written down. Specifically, I share these two blessings because it's something I have been praying this year for God to really show me how HE is filling a void that is incredibly painful for me. You see, I turn 35 very shortly....My life plan said by this time, I would be married, have a couple kids, successful career, etc. Well....God's plan is often very different than our plans....until we work consistently to align our heart, mind, and spirit to sing HIS praise (and plans!) Probably the most painful for me is lack of husband and lack of children....and knowing that due to medical difficulties, I won't ever be able to carry my own child, even in a Godly marriage.
On to the blessings! Early in the new year...well...maybe late in 2012, but it still is in this year's blessings jar....I received a text message from my sister-in-law showing me the incredible 3D ultrasound image of my growing niece or nephew! POWERFUL! Our God is so amazing to knit and weave together such intricate design and development in the womb! And it was something I had never seen before....so it blessed my heart. And every time I see that picture on my prayer board, I am brought to my knees in praise.
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2nd blessing: Today, I walked in a hospital room to congratulate friends on the birth of their new baby girl. I couldn't stay long, but just wanted to deliver that hat I had knitted (while praying and praying it would be a girl because a flower hat just wouldn't work for a boy!) and just say congratulations. Now, I'm pretty sure the new daddy was just super excited and ready to show off his baby, but as I handed the gift to "mom", he came over to me and said "Meet 'baby'!.....Here, hold her!!" She started to cry and I cuddled to her and she settled. I held her for a short time....although I think I could have cuddled her all day if I was allowed....she's sooo cute! But, that daddy blessed me today (even though it probably wasn't intentional) by simply allowing me to be a part of that newborn moment.
Call me sappy...call me crazy...but these two things are huge blessings to me. Being given a glimpse of participation in something I won't experience personally remind me to be aware of how I can give glimpses of joy to others in things they maybe can't do, won't do, or are no longer able to do. What about simply smiling and saying hello to someone who others tend to ignore? What about listening to an older person tell the same story over and over and over.....because they can't remember telling it the first time? What about simply being quiet and observing and letting others shine in their Heavenly Father's glory? Lord, open my eyes and heart to see where you want me to pass on blessings to others. Grant me wisdom to see past appearances, presumptions, and past mistakes and to see into a heart that is longing to be given a glimpse of what they dream for.
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