CETN-CETA-CETL

I can read your mind....what?  Huh?  Kari-have you lost your mind in the four months since you last blogged?  No....ride this out with me and I think you'll understand.
Since I last blogged, summer has come (finally) and will soon be gone (sadly).  I did not serve at the Bible Camp I normally serve at this summer due to other commitments, but I have been busy both with work, gardening, and participating (mostly with baking-my sugar almond cookies, scones, and quick breads) at our local farmers' market.  This new experience has been a ton of fun; I've met some great new people...and I have some orders for Christmas cookies in a couple months!  It's also filled my off days with the great smells of cinnamon, almond, nutmeg, etc. and a sense of purpose.  I spent one farmers' market selling with my niece and nephew to benefit Children of the Promise Ministries in Haiti...we had an incredible day and the two best quotes of the whole summer.  My 7 year old niece (as I explained to her what we were doing)..."So...Aunt Kari...I get to like, be a real missionary for a day?"  "Most definitely sweetheart!"  And my 4 year old nephew after he got through eating some herb sour dough from another vendor "Aunt Kari...that was really, really good bread, but your cookies are betterer...and nobody's buying those baseball cookies....so can I just eat them?"  "Hm...."

Gardening has taken up a wonderful amount of my time and it is so much fun seeing the fruits of my labor, as well as learning new tricks and techniques.  Right now, I'm figuring out what to do with 9 1/2 pound cabbages and how to fix my tomatoes which are making the cages fall over with their weight!
I'm also experimenting with new recipes using fresh produce.  Tonight's experiment was a recipe for KFC coleslaw.  Success! 

This summer has also brought a sense of pain and disappointment as I realized I needed to admit that my struggle with depression had returned, and as much as I tried to avoid it or push it aside, it was gaining strength and power.  Although I am not sure about posting this publicly, I'm hoping it can help someone else.  Once I admitted I was struggling, I was able to begin to deal with it...which leads to the title of my post.

CETN-CARING ENOUGH TO NOTICE
As I was struggling, a part of me just wanted someone else to care enough to notice.  In the back of my mind, I thought, good grief...in this great community of Christ followers....doesn't someone notice?  Doesn't anyone care?  However, in the same breath, I realized how guilty I am of sensing that someone is struggling, but pushing it out of my mind and using the excuses of "it's not my business" or "it will just lead to a conversation/interaction that I can't handle".  Fear talking or sense speaking?  Pretty sure it was fear!  So, I would encourage all of you who believe in the Great Physician to CETN, and then....

CETA-CARING ENOUGH TO ASK
Many times, when people are struggling, whether it's with mental illness, loss, financial struggles, frustration over work/family issues, or many other things, the first step after caring enough to notice is to ask.  And not just "Are you ok?"  or "How are you?" What my spirit wanted most was for someone just to come alongside me and just ask what I needed and then to move on to....

CETN-CARING ENOUGH TO LISTEN (OR...to just be quiet)
I am the first to admit...I want to jump in....I want to fix...I want everything to be ok....I don't just want to listen and be still....   However, I knew that was exactly what I wanted and needed.  Someone that wasn't going to try and change/fix me or give me instructions or blame or all that garbage.  I really didn't want to have to share everything with someone.  Honestly, I was embarrassed (as are many people who are struggling with a variety of issues listed above).  We are already blaming ourselves, questioning God, seeking our scripture.  Just listen to me....let me vent...let me cry in an all out female sob/scream cry :).....let me be.......and then look me in the eyes and just be still.  Your silence will often speak louder.  Then, after the initial listening/silence.....it can move into more of a conversation over a period of time.  Please allow Christ to speak through your silence.

Tonight I was reading a devotional on the life of Peter.  And although the CETN-CETA-CETL is something I had come up with during a sleepless night, I began to see how Christ modeled that, especially with Peter.  He saw his strengths and his weaknesses and cared enough to work alongside Peter to challenge and develop his strengths into a passion for Christ and Christianity.

So....I've taken a risk in posting this so honestly, but I do pray that it will ring true and bless or help someone out there.  Feel free to comment....agree or disagree.....God will use that to teach my spirit as well...."as iron sharpens iron..."